Toxic workplaces: we know they exist, and sadly, many of us may be tolerating one right now, or have survived by escaping from one. This is my LinkedIn post about toxic work environments and below are suggestions on how you can handle the office bully.
How do you deal with a toxic workplace if you’ve experienced workplace bullying or “white anting”? White ants, those are the sneaky, termite-like colleagues who gnaw away at your sanity while maintaining a false façade of support.
Here are a few tips on how to navigate the situation without losing your self-respect and dealing with these so-called “colleagues”.
Confront the Office Bully – Be Direct and Calm
No one loves confrontation but sometimes the best way to defuse white ant behaviour, or the negative energy of the workplace bully, is to address the behaviour head-on.
What I’ve found to be quite effective when someone appears to be gas-lighting is to pull them up on it immediately and throw them off by asking, “Help me to understand what reaction you expect from that comment?” or “What, specifically, are you hoping to achieve by saying that?”
Or, if you have managed to retain your sense of humour, you could try a light-hearted approach and observe their reaction.
Try this. Say something along the lines of, “I couldn’t help but notice you’ve got a special talent for withholding information. Can we work together so that everyone can shine here?”
The key to success in this situation? Stay calm and keep it light.
If the white anting continues, document their behaviour, time, date, situation and specifics about what was said each time.
If things escalate, you’ll have a record of their termite behaviour to share with HR.
Build an Army of Supportive Co-Workers
“Success is the best revenge.” Instead of fretting over the office bully’s backhanded remarks, channel your energy into building connections with the supportive and professional colleagues around you.
Get to know your colleagues better, offer to share a coffee break or have a chat with them when you meet them in the kitchen.
Show the white ant you don’t need their “approval” to succeed – you’re able to build positive and professional relationships around you.
It’s empowering to have a healthy circle of co-workers. Be observant – you may notice that their negative, toxic behaviour is not only directed at you.
Develop a “Zen Mindset”
Bullies tend to get a thrill and sense of power by rattling your nerves – don’t give them the satisfaction.
Instead, adopt a zen-like approach: when they start getting under your skin, take a deep breath, be aware of your reaction and remain objective.
Take the High Road with a Smile
Your goal isn’t just to survive a toxic work environment – it’s to overcome it.
Find the humour in the behaviour of the office bully when you can, stand up for yourself in a calm and reasonable manner, and build your circle of trust within the office.
When in doubt, keep things in perspective: remember that you’re working to make a living, to make a positive difference, and not to be affected by negative energy.
When You Know it’s Time to Say Goodbye
If, despite all your best efforts to turn around the situation, nothing improves and your factual reports fall on deaf ears when brought to the attention of HR, your mental health is not worth risking just to have a job.
That’s when you’ll know it’s time to remove yourself from that environment and make a change.
You will find that you feel a huge sense of relief when you no longer must suffer through negative, toxic behaviour.
It is never too late to make a change. You do have options.
Set your boundaries and acknowledge your self-worth. You deserve to be happy at work, to do a good day’s work, to enjoy your work environment and to be appreciated for who you are and what you do.
If you need help to make a career change, visit janejacksoncoach.com/1-on-1 and set yourself up for success.
