What happens when we are angry? Why do we shout?
Does this fix things? Never.
Have you ever really listened when you have been shouted at? Do you really listen to yourself when you are shouting in anger?
When we get angry, we get angry because we care about something, someone or we care about an outcome and we are not getting what WE want.
Communication and understanding is lost.
Here is a beautiful Hindu parable that explains it succinctly and, oh, so accurately:
“A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples, smiled and asked.
‘Why do people in anger shout at each other?’
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’
‘But, why should you shout, when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint.
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained.
‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.
What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’
The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’