What’s Holding You Back? Fear Number Five

Fear Number Five – The Fear of Being Alone

Over the past few article I’ve discussed some of the fears that hold people back from achieving the success they wish for.  You’ve had time to think about the fears that could be holding you back from achieving what you want in life.

 

To recap previous posts, here are the first Four Fears:

Fear Number One: The Fear of Failure
Fear Number Two: The Fear of Rejection
Fear Number Three: The Fear of Success
Fear Number Four: The Fear of Not Being Good Enough

You’ve considered the first four Fears, now let’s take a look at Fear Number Five.

 

The Fear of Being Alone

 

How many of us will admit that we are simply afraid of being alone?

This is the fear that keeps us in bad relationships, unsatisfactory work environments, the fear that keeps us from doing what we really want to do simply because we want to fit in with the group or maintain the status quo.

Your ‘group’ may be a collection of old friends whom you used to enjoy spending time with and now find yourself pulling away from them; your close family members with whom you feel you ‘should’ agree and please because they are family; a workgroup with whom you have difficulty seeing eye-to-eye or just one person with whom you are in a relationship.

If you take that first step to make a change, to assert your own needs and preferences, to reach for what you really want for yourself, you may alienate that person or that ‘group’ of people. You fear that you may end up Alone.

Do your friends or family mean well but always seem to sabotage your attempts to make improvements in your life that will give you less time with them? Worse than that, maybe you stay in a bad or abusive relationship because you don’t want to be alone.

Maybe you think ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t’? Maybe you hang out with some people whom you know you really don’t approve of their lifestyle, but they are the only friends you have. Or maybe you stay in your current work environment because you don’t think anyone else will hire you? So much is to do with your own self-esteem and the fear of being Alone.

Of all the Five Fears that have been discussed, which one is the one that is holding YOU back?

Once you have identified your fears, it’s time to start diffusing them and get your thoughts flowing in a positive direction. The first thing to do is to gain clarity into specifically what is the REAL issue that is holding you back. Once you acknowledge the cause of what may create real or imagined fears, then you can begin to take steps to remove the cause and conquer those fears.

You can start to live the life you deserve whether you believe you deserve it or not. Always remember that you owe it to yourself to be the best you can be. Make the most of your life – there is so much that you can do!

Let me leave you today with one of my favourite quotes:

 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?” – Marianne Williamson

 

I wish you much success always.  If you would like to work on your confidence and resilience to overcome the many challenges that we often face, this online course, How to Build Confidence, will help you.  Click here to find out more.

 

confidence, resilience, confidence course, Jane Jackson, career coach

 

2 Comments

  • Hi Jane, thanks for sharing all fears with me….very interesting probes to find out for yourself how to move forward in a positive way.
    And the answer will be very different for every person. I identified one fear I need to tackle. Other people might find multiple fears. That doesn’t matter really.And is in no way a judgement call.
    The most important is that you do something constructive to conquer and move on.

    Reply
    • Yes I agree Ingrid – the most important thing when experiencing a set back is to regroup, analyse what went right, what went wrong, and not to overpersonalise the situation. When it comes to job search, in the end, it’s a business decision that the hiring manager has made. Wishing you all the best!

      Reply

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