January 2013! Another exciting new year full of promise, resolutions, new goals, hopes and dreams. The end of 2012 was a flurry of activity, festivities combined with plenty of work to tie up loose ends before the holidays, family, friends and lots of celebrations for most of us.
Now the New Year has begun and with determination to keep to our goals we stride forward in anticipation of great things. Our lives continue to be filled with activities, work, socialising, more work, family, friends, responsibilities, hopes, desires, frustrations, concerns, joys, disappointments, wants … and more wants. Wait a minute, it seems like we’ve forgotten the simple pleasure of how to be still.
What do I mean by being still? Think about it – when was the last time you were still? I mean really still?
The pure pleasure of doing nothing. Just being. Feeling the ecstasy of simply being able to breathe. A feeling of being ‘enough.’ Enough in your own eyes, not only in the eyes of your partner, your children, extended family, your friends, your colleagues. Have you ever considered to yourself, “Am I enough for me?”
One of the wonderful things about being a coach is that I am able to take a step back and be objective for others so that they can have their ‘Aha’ moments in their lives. I’ve recently had my own ‘Aha’ moment. This year I am learning to take a step back and simply be me for myself … and it feels good.
It’s time to let go of all the endless chatter in our heads, the stories we tell ourselves, and others often in the form of discontented complaints. Those stories that are designed unconsciously to make ourselves feel ‘right’ and someone else or something ‘wrong.’ We tend to feed our egos by being ‘right.’ The ego needs to define the boundary between ‘me and them’ to create a (false) sense of superiority. The ego makes a habit of mental judgments and emotional reactions so you have a personal, reactive relationship to all the events and the people in your life whether it is the weather, another’s actions or even an accident.
How many people do you know who personally react to all events in such a way that it creates suffering within them, however it’s not recognized as such. The complaints they make to others and to themselves satisfy their ego. It helps no one and creates negativity. Think about it, have you ever allowed yourself to react in this way?
If so, it’s time to be still, to simplify life and remove the stories in your head. Stories such as:
“It’s too windy and cold.”
“They didn’t call me back.”
“He was late, I was not.”
“They were wrong.”
Be present, accept every situation for what it is, not what you interpret it to be. Respect other’s map of the world and be open to possibilities whatever events occur that create an emotional reaction. Let it all go and be enough for your self.
In the midst of our busy days, every so often take the time to enjoy and be still.